It’s Time To Suit Up!

{ December 30, 2011 @ 6:18 am } · { Jesus, Lately In The Life Of Probie }
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Ever heard the saying love is a battlefield? Well I lay here tonight thinking of things that have been said that just completely prepared me for battle.

First off there is my sister.  She only has two. First which is probably the least said “They’re all hypocrites” (put armor suit on now) Then when I make one tiny mistake “Well that’s real Christian of you.” (Draw sword) From there it only goes downhill. To the point I say I’m done and she doesn’t speak to me for months, instead stalks my Facebook and reports everything to mommy and daddy. (I’m supposed to be the baby of the family)

Next off there’s my brothers. Thomas who completely denies God and Nick who well he’s a whole other story I don’t feel like getting into.

So, we’ll go to my number one “fan”! My mother. Oh… nothing like a mother’s criticism. Here are a few of her “I’m only trying to help you words” everyone there is a hypocrite (I pulled everything I had out at this point in time), I didn’t think you’d last a year (I pulled the armor mask down), I think you’ve taken it too far(completely suited up), keep Jesus in your way (sword drawn), oh and here’s my favorite said only yesterday “well here lately you’ve seemed to have gotten the basics down.”

WHAT!? At this point I literally had to bite my tongue form going off right then and there. Jesus isn’t some game you play. It’s not a thing I go and get a coach for! It’s not a card game I play on Sunday mornings! How dare you compare my God to a game! Oh I was beyond floored at this point. So it’s a bad idea to bite your tongue because I ended up crying. (It hurt a lot) Weather physically or emotionally I don’t know which cut deeper.

My battlefield is at home; my battlefield is at school, so question is where is my home base? Well that would be church(most of the time), and my Saturday night home (Burns’).

Question is are you willing to battle the people you love the most for the one who loves you the most? His love is worth fighting for, even if you have to wait. Well….dang. (Had to have it somewhere: D)

“The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.” Jeremiah 31:3

“Follow Me” is NOT a Question

{ November 20, 2011 @ 12:29 pm } · { Jesus }
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Wow… These past few weeks have been pretty crazy. Juggling school, guitar, God’s Girls of Grace, School Bible Study (we need a name.), mock trial, and lets not forget my absolute favorite (not sarcasm) church. Missing one youth group sucks let alone five. I hate that I haven’t been going. I hate not following when I am called to, or worse watching someone else refuse to follow when you know they are called.

“Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will send you out to fish for people.” Matthew 4:19

But Jesus told him, “Follow me, and let the dead bury their own dead.” Matthew 8:22

As he walked along, he saw Levi son of Alphaeus sitting at the tax collector’s booth. “Follow me,” Jesus told him, and Levi got up and followed him. Mark 2:15

Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. Luke 9:23

Throughout the Bible one constant is FOLLOW ME. Now I will be the first to admit.. I screw up… often actually. I still occasionally have a slip up and something outrageous come out of my mouth. That can contain hateful words, tearing people down, gossip, ect. I mess up… I’m a teenage girl it happens. However, being aware of this give me a responsibility to fix it, to better myself and Follow Him.

Now… I love my friends. Weather they are good friends or the ones that purposely make me mad… I love them all. One thing I absolutely hate is that I can’t walk up to them slap them in the face and say, “WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU DOING!” I mean seriously we all wanna do that to someone at some point.

You have the confused friend- that friend who goes to church every Sunday, volunteers, shows God so much but refuses to take the next step, because… they just don’t know. Those friends are the ones that break my heart….

Next you have the fake- The one who goes to church, but when they’re not around there family, church friends, or leaders they are completely different. You go from the upstanding person who is in search of God, to this sailor mouthed, perverted, crazy person. Why? It makes no sense to me.. Those friends make me mad…

Then you have the lost friend- The one who doesn’t know what they believe, who want to look at all there options and figure out what they want to believe. I respect my friend for this. I can’t say I blame them. With so many variations of Christianity, finding a church can be like searching for what you want to fix for dinner, their’s a fight, arguing, and normally in the end one person is still unhappy. It’s difficult. These friends I pray for the most….

Finally you have the passive friend- That friend that goes to church and learns, but outside church there is no room for God. Instead of spreading God’s word at work/school, they say it’s not their place, their responsibility, or my favorite their job. (really?) These friends REFUSE to read their Bible outside of church. These friends know better…

Well dang… As I write this I seem to be thinking of four specific people and now that I look back a bunch more are coming to mind. It’s heart breaking. My lost friend, she’s lost in a sea of churches and she’s trying to figure it out. However, all the others are the one’s I wanna tackle, slap them, and ask, “Why?” Maybe it’s just me, but do you feel that in your heart, this strange wonderful feeling? I do… I want the world to feel it to. It’s so amazing.

Two words… Follow Me…. Two words that change the world… Two words that will break your heart. Two words that will rebuild it. Two words that make ALL the difference.

So what will you do? Follow Him… Or stay put?

 

Lifting Weight

{ August 27, 2011 @ 12:40 am } · { Lately In The Life Of Probie }
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The question comes so easily, but the answer comes slow. It’s heavy and there’s no way around it. When asked I sit there still as a rock in
the mountains. How do I answer? How do I tell them what I think? Not what I think of say God, that easy, so is questions like how’s your day. This wasn’t one of those questions. Now I sit here thinking there are so many more heavy questions.

To be completely honest they’re have been many heavy questions given to me this week. First was, are you ready for school? To be honest if I hear this question one more time I may shoot someone. It drove me insane mostly because me being who I am can be very indecisive. So some days I couldn’t wait and others I wished it never would. The closer the day came the more I could feel my stomach tighten dreading what was coming that way. Needless to say I’m not the most popular girl in my grade. :/ I’m the nerdy, Christian girl who never does anything wrong. To be honest I’m fine with the nerdy, Christian girl, it’ the I never do anything wrong part. To be honest I hate school.

Another heavy question was given to me by Mr. McKibben. Before I say anymore I need to say that I love this guy. OHMYGOODNESS! He is one of the best teachers I have ever had. Okay back on topic. For my Econ class he wants us to do ten goals and not I want all A’s for the year more like something that would change our lives. The question is, “if you died on the last day of school what are ten things you’d want to achieve?” Well dang… (ßfavorite quote) I have no freaking idea! I mean I want to… I want to be closer to God. Does that count? Truth is I’d want that if I could live forever. Um… lets try I want my family to come to know God. How about that? But I can’t make them… :/ so what do I put? How do I want to change my life? How do I want to change the lives of
everyone around me? What do I do? Start a Bible study at school? I tried that and fail miserably and now the one with a sponsor is sponsor less. (Chuck ditched us man! Jk Hope you love your new job man.) I have no idea….

Next is the one I asked my brother Thursday morning, possibly the most heartbreaking days of my life on so many levels. Do you believe in God, do you believe what Jesus did? Talk about wanting to shut down. Two minutes before the bus came I pried an answer out of my brother. It translated to no. I mean what do you say to that? Almost two years. Two years, he still doesn’t see. So when Adam and anyone else (Caitlin) says you can change them just by being you, I am skeptical, I believe people change don’t get me wrong have you heard my story? As for him seeing who I am when he won’t spend ten minutes with me or me just being in the house changing him, I don’t think it works. Sorry. Oh and almost forgot. Well dang…

Finally is one given to me by Caitlin. She looked at me last night straight in the eyes and said, “Who are you? Seriously.” Uh… Who am I? I could have said I’m Probie silly, but I knew it was a deeper question. Truth is I had tears streaming, because I just didn’t know what to say. She told me what she knew, that I wanted to be a cop someday, and I love to wright when I’m in the mood, but who are you. She repeated and repeated. The only answer I could come up with is I don’t know. I mean how heavy is that who are you? Who? To be honest I hate SUMMER, I hate SCHOOL, and I hate being places where I am NOT me because I get lost in the place I am. So after so long I start taking characteristics of this fake me.  Who am I? I don’t know I plan on figuring this out. Because how can I help others become who they’re supposed to be when I don’t even know who I am?

Who am I? Ten things you want to do in seven months? Do you believe in God? Are you ready to be in a place where you’re the fish swimming against the current?

Heavy questions, I better start thinking and praying so I can lift the weight.

What Your Was, Was

{ July 30, 2011 @ 3:55 pm } · { Jesus, Lately In The Life Of Probie }
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So yesterday a group of students including I, returned from a trip called Know Sweat. On this trip we served God, by helping people in Cincinnati. On this trip a man named Mike came out and spoke about Imagination. One of the things that he said continuously was, was. I don’t think I have ever heard someone say was so many times in a long run on sentence.

His whole point was, ‘whatever you was, was, your is can change, but you was can effect you is, and your is can change your is to come all because of your was, but god can do immeasurably more than you could ever imagine.’

This made me think of Rahab. We learned about her at CIY and actually his wife spoke about her. The story of Rahab is in the book of Joshua.

“Then Joshua son of Nun secretly sent two spies from Shittim. “Go, look over the land,” he said, “especially Jericho.” So they went and entered the house of a prostitute named Rahab and stayed there.” Joshua 2:1 TNIV

So what was happening here was Joshua sent spies to explore this land the God had promised them. However, if the spies were caught they would be in some serious trouble. This prostitute came to them and hid them. And when the king said bring out the two men that where here. She told him they had left.

“The king of Jericho was told, “Look, some of the Israelites have come here tonight to spy out the land.” 3So the king of Jericho sent this message to Rahab: “Bring out the men who came to you and entered your house, because they have come to spy out the whole land.”

4 But the woman had taken the two men and hidden them. She said, “Yes, the men came to me, but I did not know where they had come from. 5 At dusk, when it was time to close the city gate, they left. I don’t know which way they went. Go after them quickly. You may catch up with them.” 6 (But she had taken them up to the roof and hidden them under the stalks of flax she had laid out on the roof.) 7 So the men set out in pursuit of the spies on the road that leads to the fords of the Jordan, and as soon as the pursuers had gone out, the gate was shut.” Joshua 2:2-7 TNIV

Now this prostitute knew that the God of the Israelites was a loving, powerful, and true God. She didn’t hide the spies for nothing. She made sure that her family and herself would be spared and live with the Israelites.

“Now then, please swear to me by the LORD that you will show kindness to my family, because I have shown kindness to you. Give me a sure sign 13 that you will spare the lives of my father and mother, my brothers and sisters, and all who belong to them—and that you will save us from death.” Joshua 2:12-13 TNIV

The men gave their word and when they took the city, they came and got everyone in her household.

Four women are mentioned in the geneology of Jesus. Rahab is one of them.

“Salmon the father of Boaz, whose mother was Rahab, ” Matthew 1:5 TNIV

Wow! Just look at that! Would you just look at that?! ;)  Rahab a prostitute would marry a guy name Salmon and become a grand-mother of JESUS! Oh, my!

Now my point on this is that no matter what your past is, God can turn you into something amazing! He can use you no matter what.

NO matter what your was, was, he can change your is, and your is to come. That’s what matters. God can change you, help you, use you, and fill you. IF and only IF you allow him too.

So whatever your was, was God can make you into anything, turn you into anything. However you imagine yourself, God can pass your expectations IMMEASURABLY MORE.  Wow. Just wow.

A Woman’s Place???

{ July 29, 2011 @ 7:02 pm } · { Lately In The Life Of Probie }
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So about a month ago I went on a trip called CIY:MOVE which is a Christ in Youth trip for high school students. This was only my second year going. Just like always there was a lot of fun, a lot of learning, and a lot of deep examination of one’s self.

There was a period of time called D-group. The girls were in one group and guys in another. Now although we didn’t stay on topic we did have deep conversations. One of the ones that have stuck in my head is the one about a woman’s place.

Ever heard the saying, KING of the Castle, I’m the man, or anything along these lines?

That’s because guys… well they’re on top. Duh. Men can preach up-stairs at my church women can’t. Men are suppose to be the leaders. Women are under men.

Genesis 3:16 TNIV

“To the woman he said, 
“I will make your pains in childbearing very severe; with painful labor
you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he
will rule over you.””

There you have it. Men will forever rule over us. Now this doesn’t mean men are suppose to abuse us. In NO way shape or form does this mean that. A man should respect you, but he does have the authority. If you’re married and he says that the two of you are going to move to another state because he feels he’s suppose to go there. You’re place as a woman is to follow him.

At CIY my place was a common topic to with the women who were with me. I asked the sponsors if I were allowed to preach at Reset for an example, and for the simple fact that adults came there, the answer was no, but talk to Adam. Well dang. One of them said I wasn’t allowed to preach except for children’s ministry. A lot of things were discussed, but what I remember the most is the night after our discussion a woman name Jodi, came out and preached. My first thought was ‘ what now’.

I remember her sermon about Rahab, and how God can do anything through you your past doesn’t matter God can still use you.

So the question is, are we allowed to preach? Our doctrine says, upstairs… No. That’s it. No exception.

“Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is
not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience,
as also saith the law” (1 Corinthians 14:34) TNIV

May I say one more time? Well dang. But then I remember the story of Pheobe

“Be sure to welcome our friend Phoebe in the way of the Master, with all the generous hospitality we Christians are famous for. I heartily endorse both her and her work. She’s a key representative of the church at Cenchrea. Help her out in whatever she asks. She deserves anything you can do for her. She’s helped many a person, including me.” (Romans 16:1-2) The Message

Well. Now what? So now that I think about it where is my place? Do I have one? What can I do? To be honest as for my heart and Ministry I don’t yet have an answer.

As for my place as a women I do. I am to follow God first, husband second (When married Lol), parents third.

The Lord gave the church gifts of
His choosing in the form of men and women who would lead the church into
perfection (Ephesians 4:8-12) TNIV

In the end we are all human and God is the King, so I welcome you point of view on this topic.

A Spark

{ June 18, 2011 @ 11:46 pm } · { Lately In The Life Of Probie }
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So, this has been a hectic week in the Schmidt household. We got a dog (who has a seizure disorder), my mom is constantly working outside, my dad has only been home two evenings this week, of course fathers day weekend and my brother… well he’s my brother. :D

To be honest I’m not home much of the week normally. I tend to spend all my time at my best friends house. However, I’m glad I wasn’t there that much. My family and I aren’t close. Well, not like we use to be. However a couple of nights ago I seen a side of my dad I haven’t seen in forever.

We were watching one of our favorites. The Little Colonel staring Shirley Temple. Of, course. :) However, there was a couple of scenes where some really old southern gospel was played, my dad started singing along. He had it memorized. I couldn’t help but sit and stare at him. We hadn’t spent time together in what seems like forever and here he is diving into one of my favorite things. Not southern gospel, but what it stands for.

Of all my family, I’m the only one who goes to church. I am slowly trying to pull all of them into coming with me. The one I though least likely to ever step in the door was my father. I know it seems like I’m rambling but this little tidbit of information is important.

After the movie I thought more and more about him singing. I figured out why I just sat there and stared. It was because there was a spark. A spark that gives hope, maybe if I could tap into what had been revealed the other night I can show him God, and maybe my family will follow.

I haven’t read much about the Judges in the Bible. But what I do know about them is they were sent after the chosen people had turned their back on God. They were sent to bring them back and keep them their. I like to believe that I am one of them and you could be one of them too.

Judges 2:16 TNIV

“Then the LORD raised up judges, who saved them out of the hands of these raiders.”

You WILL Struggle

{ June 18, 2011 @ 10:08 pm } · { Jesus }
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Big Point: If you have Jesus, if you have the Holy Spirit, if you have given your life you will struggle it’s worth it.
 
 
I know someone. She has struggled a lot with finding herself in her household. It’s not because she’s not loved, because she is. She is the only one in her house who is a Christian. And it causes a lot of problems with her family. Her love for God and her family has her divided. She struggles.
 
She deals with it everyday she’s home. Important to say she’s not home a lot. Between one school day and another, she’s normally found at her best friends, or here at church.
This struggle isn’t unlike many of the struggles your facing. Trying to talk to a friend into seeing the light, or teacher, co-worker whoever.
 
Matthew 4:11-12
 
“Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.”
 
Blessed are you… YOU! Are blessed when people curse your name. You ARE blessed when people try to tear you down. Jesus, he was put down by so many people. The pharoses told crucified him, they hated him so much. They hated him and he saved us.
 
When people say they hate you, or don’t want anything to do with you. They know you’re different. Embrace it love it! You have the Holy Spirit, you have something they don’t. You have the best thing in the universe. But I tell you share it.
 
Pass it on for it is our commandment to pass the word of God. As his people we are to spread his word through the world.
 
Mark 16:15-16
 
“He said to them, “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation. Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved, but whoever does not believe will be condemned…”
 
So why don’t we do it? I mean I hear every Sunday school that I need to give a testimony I need to tell everybody! But do I? No, because preaching to people it doesn’t get your point across. They don’t listen, I didn’t listen. You can show them and yeah talk to them when the time comes, but don’t preach at them.
 
When I want someone to hear the word of God, I start with a story. Always, always with a story. That story is my story. It’s funny how I would rather tell a stranger all my dirty secrets then my best friend. But my story, I believe shows God’s power and that it can change lives and he is real.
 
My friend believes that just by being who you are you can spread God’s love and word. True, His love is reflected in you. I’m not so sure about the word though. That girl I began the story with is me.
 
There are many reasons I don’t stay home. Because of the cursing, or just the things my family does that they no I don’t approve of. But they’re my family. For a year and four months I have fought, cried, thrown stuff, and almost broke because of them. I struggle. I struggle with the fact that my family won’t enter heaven if they won’t accept God. That when the time comes for you and me to leave with God, they’re going to be thrown in the burning pit of hell.
 
So just being who you are and affecting others around you. Yeah, sometimes. But not always. I pray that my family will see the light, and that you and your friends, co-workers, your family will also.
 
Matthew 16:15-16
“But what about you?” he asked. “Who do you say I am?” Simon Peter answered, “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.”
 
That is what makes it worth it. That is what makes the arguments, and the tears, the being split apart all worth it. He is the Son of the living God. For Him I would die, for him I have died. I’ve been “Reset”.
I haven’t given up on my family. You shouldn’t give up on your friend or co-worker. You shouldn’t preach, no one likes a preacher… sorry Jones. You have to be a friend, and through your ways, and through the light and yeah spread the word, but not in an in your face way.
 
So spread it, love it, live it. Rejoice in the pain, as I do. I’m in pain, but with Jesus, it’s worth it and I will gladly stay in this state, then never to have known His love, because it conquers all.
 

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